


Sorry, but I'm hella gay!

by DestielHardcoreLove, Swlfangirl



Series: Cleaning Out the Que [17]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Break Up, Fluff and Angst, Getting Back Together, Hand Jobs, M/M, Mechanic Dean Winchester, Misunderstandings, Twink Castiel (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:08:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23183041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielHardcoreLove/pseuds/DestielHardcoreLove, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swlfangirl/pseuds/Swlfangirl
Summary: based on the online story of the girl who gave a waiter her number, come to find out that he was gay but totally had not only a straight brother, but was single too!
Relationships: Amara/Cain (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Cleaning Out the Que [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1408027
Comments: 5
Kudos: 61





	Sorry, but I'm hella gay!

* * *

Amara bit her lip as she slipped the note with her name and phone number under the tip she left. The waiter had been incredibly sweet to her and even if it ended up just being a platonic type of thing, she wouldn’t mind. After the horrible break up she just had and all her friends turning on her, she was pathetically desperate for something new.

“You got that order for 3 done yet?” Dean asked, smiling gratefully when his board was loaded down. They were all business suit types, which they didn’t get much of at the Roadhouse but he suspected they’d tip alright as long as he didn’t keep them waiting.

After unloading it all, Dean started bussing, he didn’t always do both but some jerkwad hadn’t shown up and he didn’t want the place falling apart around him so he tried to do what he could to help out wherever he was needed. He saw quite a stack of bills on the table left from the sweet girl who seemed a bit lonely.

He was surprised to see something written on the receipt until he realized it was a phone number. It happened from time to time but Dean never bothered calling anyone. He wasn’t really interested in women, not since-not anymore. He shoved the note in his apron along with a few clean napkins that needed to be tossed away and went on about his shift. 

It wasn’t until he was cleaning it out at the end of the night that he surprised himself and shoved the slip of paper into his pocket before leaving. When he got outside, the cool fresh air felt good against his face and he slid in behind the wheel of his baby before he pulled out his phone and sent a message. 

_Message to A:_ Hey, it’s Dean from the Roadhouse.

 _Message to A:_ I just wanted to say I appreciate the courage it took to leave your number

 _Message to A:_ I think you’re really pretty, but I’m not really interested in women.

 _Message to A:_ But friends...we could totally be friends.

He thought about what she’d looked like, remembered her smile, and then a text notification from his brother popped up on the screen.

_Message to lil bro:_ Drank your beer, leaving a $20 on the counter to replace it. 

He shook his head but then he had a brilliant idea. 

_Message to A:_ Oh but if you’re interested, I do have an older brother who is single, and is totally into gorgeous women like yourself. I can pass on your info if you want.

Amara slumped back against her couch as she read Dean’s messages. She had said being just friends would work but she couldn't deny the disappointment settling in her chest. She was about to put her phone down when it buzzed again.

A brother? Biting her lip and smiling for what felt like the first time in weeks she eagerly answered.

_Message to Dean:_ Really?

_Message to Dean:_ That would be great.

_Message to Dean_ : Which is kind of hilarious because I have a little brother who is single as well. Interested?

Dean’s eyebrows lifted quickly and he shrugged to himself, figuring why not. 

_Message to A:_ Could be…

_Message to A:_ Would he be okay with you sending me a photo? 

_Message to A:_ Cause I’ll send you one of my idiot brother’s selfies if you want… 

_Message to A:_ He has them all over social media so I don't think it would matter if I gave you one. 

Amara grinned wide and went through her gallery to find a really cute one of her brother.

_Message to Dean_ : He’s incredibly shy but he won’t mind. Hold on, let me find a good one.

_Message to A:_ No rush, I’ll send you one and then I’mma get home before I check back. Might be 10-15 minutes.

_Message to A:_ My brother the dork

Amara was not prepared for the image to pop up on her phone. She was waiting to see the usual guy and the usual selfie but this...this was beyond anything Amara could have dreamed of.

_Message to Dean_ : That can’t be your brother. That’s some model you stole a picture from the internet. Holy crap he’s hot.

_Message to Dean:_ Okay um...well this is my little brother. This is his senior picture from last year.

Dean pulled into his driveway, expecting Cain’s bike to be gone but funnily enough, it was still there. 

_Message to big idiot:_ I thought you were leaving?

Then he checked his other message, bit his lip and groaned...fuuuuck Amara’s brother is a cutie, and those eyes...Dean was fucking screwed, that much was clear.

_Message to A:_ Not a model, he’s just a big dork...who also fancies himself an amateur photographer. 

He holds back on the next bit, not wanting to act like a complete idiot in case she also happened to show her texts to the brother as well.

_Message to A:_ Your brother is gorgeous...would he even be interested in me?-

_Message to A:_ Well you can show him this, and then if he still wants to hit me up, feel free to pass my number over. 

_Message to A:_

_Message to Dean:_ I will and definitely tell him that your smile makes you even more gorgeous ;O)

Amara snorted at herself and then quickly opened the window for Castiel.

_Message to Bluebird:_ Hey lil bro, I think I found someone totally your tyyyyyyype.

_Message to Mari:_ You always say that. Show me the picture I guess.

Amara quickly sent it over and barked out a laugh at the almost immediate response.

_Message to Mari:_ Give him my number.

* * *

  
  


Cain didn’t look at his phone when it went off, it was sure to be Dean bitching about his beer, but he didn’t give a rat’s ass. He’d planned to take off, get out of the house for a while but he decided maybe it wouldn’t be such a great idea to leave, not after having downed pretty much an entire twelve-pack anyway.

He was grumbling about being bored and lonely under his breath when Dean made it inside.

“What crawled up your ass?” Dean said, staring critically over at his brother.

“Nothing I just-I can’t drive right now, y’know?” 

Dean nodded, he did know. At least his idiot brother was being smart about it, which was more than what could be said of their father. “Sure, but don’t just take off in the morning, I’ve got something good for you but I’m not giving it to you til you sober up.” 

Cain just hmmed, and laid face down on the couch.

When he woke up, he felt surprisingly okay and smiled when Dean sat a plate of breakfast down on the coffee table in front of him. “Thanks...I owe you big.” 

“Not nearly as much as you’re about to…”

“How y’mean?” Cain asked through a mouthful of potatoes. Without a word, his brother dropped his phone on the counter and Cain nearly choked. The girl in the picture was unlike anyone he’d ever seen and usually, he had a type. Light hair, light eyes but this one...was everything opposite. Eyes so dark they were nearly black and Cain found himself pulling the phone close to his eyes, “Holy...wow-who the hell is this?” he asked. 

“Her name is Amara, she came into the Roadhouse last night, left _me_ her number...and believe it or not, that picture doesn’t do her justice. She’s even more gorgeous in person…Anyway, I vaguely recall mentioning passing it over to you...with the right incentive of course,” Dean lied, he’d give it to his brother regardless but he’d have fun teasing him first. 

Cain leaned back with a shake of his head, “And what incentive was that?” he asked.

“I don’t know, what’s it worth to you?” he said, shaking his phone teasingly.

“Oh you little shit, c’mon!” Cain laughed, getting up to chase after his brother. He tackled him to the floor but still, somehow, Dean managed to keep his phone out of his reach.

“Fine, I’ll...do your laundry for a week or wash Baby...whatever you want.”

“First, if you so much as think about laying a hand on my car and you’ll lose it. Secondly, I can wash my own damn clothes, _unlike some people_ ,” he said, shaking his head at Cain and pointing toward the pile of clothes just beyond the door to his brother’s room. “Buuuut you buy beer for the next week and maybe we’ll call it good,” Dean grinned.

Cain snorted, “Alright deal,” he said shaking his brother’s hand and quickly transferring the phone number to his own phone. Dean’s thumb slipped and suddenly there was a picture of a very attractive young man.

“Oh...and who’s this?” Cain asked, snagging Dean’s phone out of his grasp.

“Your future brother in law…” Dean grinned, “Turns out one of us has a hot brother...it’s her if you were curious,” he added with a smirk.

“Dick,” Cain chuckled, “So...have you actually spoken to your future husband then? Or you just stalking his picture? He’s kinda young for you though,” he teased.

“I love how you just assumed that if one of us was going to get hitched into that family it would be me,” he laughed. “You know, if you married Amara he would still be your brother in law...but it’s nice that you realize you’re reaching.” Dean ignored the barb, he’d talk to the guy when he was good and ready. He didn’t want to push too hard, and well maybe he was a little nervous but fuck if he was letting Cain know that.

“Ah! So that would be a no on the conversation bit then,” he laughed, tossing Dean his phone back, “What are you waiting on little brother? You should take a cue from me and text him like I’m about to do with Amara!” 

_Message to Amara:_ Hello, this is Cain. The older and much better looking Winchester. ;) 

“Not a good idea to start a relationship built on lies,” Dean said, looking over his shoulder but he quickly retreated. He didn’t want to watch him crash and burn...or worse...if it took off.

“I’m going to grab a shower, you can go get that damn replacement beer yourself, along with an extra case because you owe me!” he called out, before slipping back into his room.

Dean swallowed, staring down at the picture he pulled back up on his phone. The guy was gorgeous, and yeah...Cain wasn’t wrong, he looked _young_. He chewed at his lip for a few minutes before finally taking his brother’s advice. 

_Message to Castiel:_ Hey, this is Dean...your sister gave me your number, I hope that’s okay?

Castiel was studying for his exam when his phone went off. Without glancing from his book, he snatched it up, expecting it to be his sister. 

“Oh…” he gasped when he read the text. In all honesty, he hadn’t expected the older man to message him at all! He quickly saved the number to his phone and then replied.

_Message to Dean_ : Hello Dean.

 _Message to Dean:_ I told her to give you my number.

_Message to Castiel:_ Yeah, I kinda figured…

Dean twisted his hair in his fingers, he usually wasn’t so damn shy but those big blue eyes had his stomach twisting.

_Message to Castiel:_ Well, I just wanted to say hey...y’know in case you weren’t busy.

Dean sent it before he could stop himself and then winced. It totally sounded weird but- his phone dinged immediately and his eyes automatically dropped down to the lit screen.

_Message to Dean:_ I’m glad you did.

 _Message to Dean:_ After Amara showed me your picture, I didn’t think you would.

 _Message to Dean:_ I’m not busy, well, studying for an exam tomorrow but I’m enjoying the much-needed distraction.

_Message to Castiel:_ College...right?

He winced, really hoped that was a yes question.

_Message to Castiel:_ I uh, I saw a picture of you and well…

 _Message to Castiel:_ I couldn’t really resist.

  
  


Castiel blushed, his face ducking down as if Dean was in the room and voiced it out loud. His eyes raised to stare at his books and chewed on his lip. He could afford a little bit of time for a break. 

_Message to Dean:_ Yes, college.

 _Message to Dean:_ I nearly did the same thing. Amara sent me the picture and I all but demanded she give you my number lol.

Dean grinned, unable to hold himself back seeing Castiel admit that he was at the very least, attracted to him.

_Message to Castiel:_ Have you figured out what you’re interested in yet?

 _Message to Castiel:_ I’d like to know more about you if you’re up for storytime…

Castiel stood up from his desk chair and flopped down on his bed instead, groaning at the way his back released its tension.

_Message to Dean:_ I’m not sure just yet.

 _Message to Dean:_ Right now I’m just taking anything I can to see if anything lights the fire inside. 

_Message to Dean:_ What about you? What do you do?

Dean was nervous, this is where it would all fall apart...Cas was probably super smart and a _college_ boy and Dean worked part-time at his Uncle Bobby’s shop, Part-time at the Roadhouse, his one redeeming quality was that he was also a volunteer firefighter, which sounded a lot more glamorous than it really was, but basically he was pretty muscle and that was about it.

He didn’t like to bring up what his dad had left for them, he could barely face the shop anymore let alone the legacy.

Shit...never did he wish he was something, _someone_ else so badly. 

_Message to Castiel:_ Take your time, I'm sure you’ll find something that fits.

 _Message to Castiel:_ I uh work odd jobs, I help Ellen out at the Roadhouse when she needs it, work part-time as a mechanic and um, I occasionally get called in as backup down at the firehouse.

Castiel smiled softly. He could barely make a decision on what to study and here this man was, doing so many different things at once.

_Message to Dean:_ That’s amazing.

 _Message to Dean:_ I wish I could decide on doing at least just one thing. 

_Message to Dean:_ You work on cars...I don’t even have one. Amara teases me about it all the time.

_Message to Castiel:_ It’s ok…

 _Message to Castiel:_ I’m sure it’s not so easy when you’re smart and probably could be good at anything...a lot more options out there for a guy like you. 

_Message to Cas:_ But you’ll figure it out Cas. 

Dean smiled, digging through his photos until he found one of his baby and sent it on. 

_Message to Castiel:_

_Message to Dean_ : Oh, that’s just not fair!

 _Message to Dean_ : I’m even more convinced you’re only talking to me out of pity! lol

Dean shook his head, frowning Cas was far too good for him. If there was any kind of scale he knew where he’d be. 

_Message to Castiel:_ No pity here, just a bit of curiosity and a whole lot of interest. 

_Message to Castiel:_ I know we don’t know each other very well but… when you feel comfortable; I’d like to take you to breakfast or dinner. Anywhere in the city, your choice. 

Castiel smiled so wide his cheeks hurt.

_Message to Dean:_ I’d really like that.

 _Message to Dean:_ I’ve been living on take out for weeks now, I’m not even sure what good places are out there.

 _Message to Dean:_ If you don’t mind, you can choose this time and I’ll choose next time?

_Message to Castiel:_ Well now I’m worried…

 _Message to Castiel:_ When was the last time you ate fresh ingredients? 

_Message to Castiel:_ Don’t answer that…

Dean chewed his lip until it was raw and then said to himself, ‘Fuck it.’

Message to Castiel: Can I bring you food? 

_Message to Dean:_ Um...honestly? It’s been a while. I mean, right now I’m just eating these nasty protein bars while studying.

Castiel swallowed hard and glanced around his dorm room. It was a giant mess.

_Message to Dean:_ If it’s no trouble...you can.

Dean grinned wider than he had in a long time.

_Message to Castiel:_ No problem at all...just give me forty minutes and an address for somewhere nearby that you can get to and I’ll be your personal delivery boy. 

_Message to Castiel:_ You can back out any time though...I get that it might be a little weird.

Castiel sat up and rubbed at the back of his neck. 

_Message to Dean:_ or...you can come to campus?

Dean swallowed, part of him worried about Cas if he was willing to just let him in that close after such a short time but most of him, felt overwhelming relief that Cas trusted him.

_Message to Castiel:_ I can do that, just tell me where/how to find you and make sure to text your sister...I feel like maybe you should be more careful about inviting strangers over to your dorm.

_Message to Castiel:_ Not that I’m complaining...but be careful.

Castiel laughed softly and did just that, making sure to tell Amara that instead of Dean coming to the dorms, they would meet in the cafeteria. Mostly because his room was gross but also to help ease some tensions.

_Message to Dean:_ We can meet at the cafeteria instead. It’s nice and there are some couches we can sit at.

Dean breathed out a shaky sigh of relief. Yeah, he could work with that. 

_Message to Castiel:_ Sounds great. See you soon Cas. 

* * *

  
  
  


Castiel was not pacing. He was not looking towards the door every five seconds either. Oh who the fuck was he kidding, of course he was doing both of those things and probably driving the barista crazy. The coffee house that sat inside the cafeteria only had one worker and they’d gone from being amused by Castiel’s anxiety to sighing loudly each time he would pass. He couldn’t help it though. Dean was gorgeous, older, and successful. Why would he be interested in a 19 year old who had nothing interesting to give to the conversation?

Shaking his head, he popped his knuckles and started pacing again.

He took one more quick look at his hair, before calling it done. He was grateful for the timing of this particular chance meeting because he’d already had some burgers that had been marinating in his fridge all day so he grabbed a quick shower and then grilled them up and grabbed a handful of shit from the pantry for sides. 

Taking a deep breath he stepped into the cafeteria where Cas was hopefully waiting on him 

There was a tickle on the back of Castiel’s neck and he turned, breath lodging in his throat as he caught sight of Dean sauntering his way over. He gasped and tried to not look as thrown as he felt. Dean was...the picture did him absolutely no justice, just as Amara had said. This was so unbelievably unfair.

“Jesus,” Dean breathed out to himself. He’d never seen anyone more beautiful than the boy standing almost directly in front of him, across the room. He nearly turned around and walked back out from the overwhelming sense of inadequacy but he powered through, giving Cas a short wave with his empty hand, holding up the squared-off basket in the other.

“Hey, Castiel? Cas?” he said, trying to fight off the awkwardness of a first meeting and the fact that he probably didn’t even know how to pronounce the dude’s name right. 

Castiel blushed, nodding at the way Dean said his name, “Cas is alright too,” he said and then motioned for the couch, “Whatever is in that, smells amazing.”

“Oh it’s...no big deal. I just made a couple burgers-” 

Later, much later when Castiel was alone and questioning his sanity, he’d remember this be even more embarrassed. Before he could stop himself, he snagged at the container and groaned, “I knew it...you’re not real and this is all some kind of fantasy,” he grumbled, his eyes nearly crossing when he took the lid off.

Dean chuckled, okay the guy was freakin’ adorable, who could blame him.

“Well I guess if that’s the case, we must be takin’ a tour through my uh dreams,” he said, softly. He didn’t wanna say it too loud because the worker behind the cafe counter was kinda staring at them. “I mean if this is anyone’s fantasy...it’s gotta be mine.”

“Lies,” Castiel grinned, reaching out to grab at Dean’s sleeve. He pulled on the leather until they were at one of the couches in the corner and he sat down, greedily getting the lid completely off, “Seriously though Dean, this smells like heaven and sin at the same time.”

Dean felt heat snake up his neck but it thankfully didn’t reach his cheeks. “You should eat better...with all that studying you’ve got to do, probably lack sleep too I’m guessing, you really need the extra energy from _actual_ food,” he said, then realized it was starting to sound like a lecture...shit. “Sorry...kinda habit, my kid brother just started school on the west coast and I hassle him about this stuff too. Sorry.”

Castiel shrugged, “I don’t mind. I do tend to forget how to take care of myself so it’s nice to have an extra reminder. Amara does well but she has her own life to take care of. And a new boyfriend,” he grinned, leaning over to nudge Dean’s shoulder with his. He brought the sinful burger to his mouth and groaned around the first bite. He was going to die with a huge smile on his face from this thing.

“Oh well in that case you should uh, I can help...remind you to eat and stuff...if you wanted, I mean,” he said, taking a bite of his own food if only to shut his own stupid mouth. He sounded like a complete idiot.

Okay enough was enough. Dean Winchester was not a shy little dork. He could do this. 

“What I mean is, I’d like to take care of you...if you’d let me.” 

Castiel nearly choked on his food, only managing to cough a few times to clear his airway, “Is...is that something you’d want?” he asked softly.

“I wouldn’t offer to do it if I had any reservations, Cas. Look...it doesn’t have to be starting today, or anything. You just let me know when you feel comfortable with the idea and we can go from there,” he said, squeezing a gentle hand on Cas’ forearm.

Castiel felt the warmth of Dean’s hand on his arm and heat rushed through his body, making his face go a little pink.

“Well...I’d really like that. I’ll be quite honest with you Dean, It’s been a while since I’ve had a boyfriend. My last one wasn’t very nice so I’ve stayed away from that,” Castiel said with a sigh.

“You didn’t deserve that and I’m glad you got out of it...” he said, a small grimace to his face. “Sometimes it’s really hard to let go of something or someone you care about even if they make you feel bad all the time. That takes courage, Cas. So does this, being here with me, considering trying to find someone again…” he added, mostly ignoring his food in favor of watching Cas, savoring the warmth of their time together and the delightful way his cheeks went rosy.

Castiel smiled up at him and nodded, “I’ll tell you about it some other time, not now though. Now, I just want to enjoy this,” he said with a hum, turning back to devour the rest of his food.

“I’m not in any rush, sweetheart. We’ve got time.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


“Close your eyes, it’s not a surprise if you just walk in and see it!” Dean teased, wrapping an arm around Cas’ waist as they stood just outside his house. He was a bit on edge if he was being honest, he wasn’t really sure it was something Cas would like but he liked to think that he knew the guy well enough to know he might enjoy what was planned.

They’d been dating for a few weeks; dinner and a movie, picnic in the park, candlelit dinners at home and out at a few restaurants. There had been a concert, though they both found it more appealing to stay in the back, and a whole lot of talking. It was all wonderful, he...well he knew from the moment he laid eyes on Cas that he could fall hard and fast, and the reality of the guy himself was even more tempting.

But the thing was…

He was running out of the normal, run of the mill plans for a date, so he had to wade into the murky backwater recesses of the internet and find something he could use.

He really hoped Cas would like it.

“Alright, alright,” Castiel teased, closing his eyes. The warmth of Dean’s hand on his waist sent shivers through his body. Even after several weeks, he still got goosebumps just from a single touch. He was gently led through the door and he waited as Dean kicked the door closed. Castiel thought he could open his eyes now but Dean quickly clamped a hand over his face.

“Sorry! Dean, c’mon what’s this all about?” Castiel laughed softly.

“Hold on a damn minute, gosh you’re like a puppy,” Dean grinned, “keep em closed he said, pulling Cas into the small laundry room off the side of the kitchen where he’d put the outfit he’d had picked out. “Alright, I’m gonna leave you something to change into and then you just knock when you’re ready to come out, okay?”

“But...Dean, what’s wrong with what I’m wearing now? I was trying to look good for you...” Castiel pouted and then looked at the outfit on the dryer, “Um…”

“You look amazing sweetheart, but can you just trust me?” he asked, moving closer to give Cas a kiss to the forehead. “I’m going to change too, wait for me to come back and then I’ll show you the surprise, promise.”

“Fiiiine,” Castiel shook his head fondly and waited for Dean to leave the room so he could change. He had to admit, wearing Dean’s shirts was now going to be one of his favorite things. Even though it was clean, he could still smell Dean’s cologne clinging to the fabric. Thankfully he’d just pulled his nose out of the cloth when Dean knocked on the door.

“I’m done,” he called out.

“Alright then, get out here,” he said, grinning as he looked around the room. It had taken him most of the night to set up, and a few teasing comments from Cain but fuck if he didn’t know the man was jealous as hell so whatever. 

Castiel eyed Dean suspiciously and then moved around him to get a look at the room. He gasped, hand flying up to his mouth as he saw tables with different activities for them to do. He hurried over to one and smiled so wide his cheeks hurt.

_Build your own bookcase (handyman included ;O))_

“Dean...this...this is amazing!” Castiel cried, quickly visiting each station, his heart melting and nearly bursting out of his chest at the same time. No one had ever done something so sweet for him before. 

“Well, I hoped you’d like it. I wasn’t really sure...and we don’t have to do all of it just pick whatever you like the most,” he said, shrugging a bit before he continued. “Plus, I figured it might get messy and I didn’t want you ruining your cute little outfit, good call?”

“Yes, very good call, thank you,” Castiel said, flushing at how much of a brat he’d been earlier. He wrapped his arms around Dean’s shoulders and hugged him tightly, “I love this,” he said and then kissed Dean’s cheek.

“Well...let’s get started, whatever you wanna do but _you_ gotta pick something to start with,” he answered, returning the cute peck.

Castiel nodded and looked around for another quick minute before going towards the candle making station. He’d never made one before and he loved candles, a piece of information he could see Dean filing away for later. Castiel smiled up at him and they got to work. 

It took a lot of patience and quite a few mistakes but finally they each had a candle, though Dean’s was a tad bit lopsided.

“I want that one,” Castiel said, snatching Dean’s away, putting his own to replace it.

“You’re ridiculous but you can have the messed up little thing...smells good though,” he grinned. He thought the smell of cherry and warm vanilla would kinda give off an essence of pie and he was not wrong.

“I happen to like that it’s not perfect,” Castiel said with a little more emotion than he intended. He shook it off and gently grabbed the other candle to place back on the table, “You choose this time, please?” he asked.

“Uh…” Dean uncomfortably rubbed at the back of his neck. “I set all this up for you though…” Honestly, he knew he was being weird, and a little stupid. Cas wouldn’t judge him for wanting to do any of the stuff he’d set up but part of him, it didn’t matter how old he got, apparently had a problem with saying he liked shit that was maybe less masculine than what he let on. “You sure you don’t want to pick again?”

“I’ll pick one more time but you’re definitely picking the next one,” Castiel said, leaning up to press a kiss to the corner of Dean’s mouth. They hadn’t done much, mostly innocent barely there kisses, holding hands, and once or twice cuddling on the couch. Dean was a saint with how patient he was being towards Castiel’s nerves. Tonight though, after their fun with this wonderful thing Dean had created, he was going to kiss the man just like he’d been dreaming of.

Castiel looked around again and bit his lip, “C’mon,” he said tugging on Dean’s hand to the face mask station, “I’m actually surprised you added this one.”

He shrugged…”It said online that it smelled good and shit and I remember you not liking how much money Amara was spending on your um, face stuff. This is definitely not the same thing you were talking about, it’s an um, a scrub or something so it’s kinda gritty but like I said, the reviews for it were really good…”

It was by far one of the girlier activities but when he saw it, that little pouty face popped into his mind and he’d gone a little bit crazy into research mode. There may or may not be an active notepad on his laptop that is filled with all-natural skincare routines...but it would never see the light of day.

Castiel beamed up at Dean, “You remembered...Dean, you’re the best,” he said. Castiel gently pushed Dean down into a chair and grinned, “You’re getting one too mister,” he said, playfully challenging the man.

“Sure, but you first,” he said, pointing to the ingredients. “I uh I have recipes for a few different ones but the brown sugar one seemed like the easiest to do. It’s literally just mixing stuff up.”

Castiel nodded and read over the instructions. Dean was right, it was pretty easy to get the mask put together and soon he was spreading it over Dean’s face, laughing with delight at Dean’s scowl.

“You can’t fool me anymore Mr. Grumpy, I know you’re loving this,” Castiel said softly, kissing the tip of Dean’s nose before spreading the mask to the same spot. Once Dean’s face was completely covered, Castiel did the same to his own.

“It’s not bad,” he said, shrugging but he guessed Cas knew the truth either way.

“Now we just sit like this for a little bit and wash it all away again,” Dean said, squeezing Cas’ hand as he held his head back a little to keep everything in place. “How’s school going?” 

“It’s going well, better now in a lot of ways seeing as how I have this wonderful man in my life who makes sure I eat and sleep when I forget to,” Castiel giggled. There was a flutter of bravery and he soaked it up before it flitted away just as quickly and sat down in Dean’s lap.

“I’m glad to help out sometimes, you are too precious to die from starvation, or exposure of college life, same thing,” he grinned, hands settling gently on Cas’ hips. 

Castiel laughed, “I’m glad you think that way.” He sat comfortably on Dean’s lap, staying quiet for a little while before the nerves began to creep back in, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. It wasn’t until a gentle touch to it that he realized what he was doing, “Oh...sorry. Just...getting lost in my thoughts.”

“Well you’re a smart guy, bound to happen from time to time...anything you feel like sharing?” Dean asked, curious about what exactly was going on in Cas’ head.

“I know we’ve only been dating a few weeks but...I was wondering if, you know, if we could be exclusive?” Castiel stammered, going red in the face. If he was being more realistic, he’d know that this wasn’t such a big deal. People don’t go all out like this if they weren’t looking to become more serious but still, deep down in Castiel’s chest rested a huge knot of disbelief and doubt.

“Cas…” Dean said, reaching out to tilt his chin up so that he could see those gorgeous blue eyes. “Since the first time I saw you, I knew that as long as you’d have me, I’d never want anyone else.”

Castiel blushed furiously and tried to duck his face again though Dean wouldn’t let him. The grip on his chin was firm but still gentle, the pad of his thumb brushing along his jawline. Castiel completely forgot about the mask on his face as he leaned in, brushing their lips together. The brush of their lips sent chills down his spine that turned into a snort of laughter when he tried to pull away, their masks sticking together.

“Ooops.”

“It’s okay, we’ll get this cleaned up first and then you can say… or do, whatever it is you had planned,” Dean grinned, scooting Cas off his lap so he could stand and guide him over to the sink. When Cas went to reach for the tap, Dean stopped him. “Here, I’ve got it, it can get really hot pretty quick. I don’t want you gettin’ burned.”

Castiel nodded and stood by waiting until the water was at a good temperature for him to wash the mask off. Once his skin was clear of the goopy mess, he dried off and waited for Dean to do the same.

“My face feels great now,” Castiel hummed, making faces to feel how tight his skin felt now. Dean chuckled at him but for once, Castiel didn’t blush. He gave his _boyfriend_ a bright smile instead.

“Looks pretty great too,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows like a dork, but he knew Cas thought it was adorable. “But then it always does.”

Castiel rolled his eyes, playfully pushing Dean away from the sink, “Your turn to pick one,” he said.

“Okay,” Dean grinned. “That one,” he said, pointing to the index card that clearly read _Cookie Making Shit_. When Cas went over to read it, he got an eye roll in return but Dean just shrugged “We were gonna do that either way, might as well start now. Here’s the recipes that I have stuff for, so you pick one and I’ll pick one and we’ll eat ourselves sick later, whaddya say?” 

“That sounds amazing,” Castiel laughed, “Oooh this one,” he said eagerly showing the one that contained peanut butter.

“Of course,” Dean grinned, his boy had a soft spot for any kind of peanut butter treat. “I’ll pick the old fashioned chocolate chip and they should go pretty well together.” 

They got to work quickly and it didn’t take long for both of them to have pans ready to go into the oven. It smelled amazing in his kitchen as they waited for each pan to come out so they could put another back in. 

Castiel hummed softly, “I can’t wait, they smell fantastic,” he said and watched as Dean set the oven timer, “Can we watch a movie after they’re done?” he asked biting his lip. Hey may or may not have ulterior motives but Dean didn’t know that...not yet anyway.

“Sure, go pick something out...there’s only a couple more pans and then I’ll grab us some milk, and some other snacks so it’s not all sugar, and then I’ll meet you in there. Gimme maybe ten minutes?” Dean asked, kissing softly at Cas’ cheek as he started spooning out the last of the chocolate chip dough onto a freshly emptied pan. 

Castiel stepped towards the family room only to turn around and watch Dean for a moment. An excited thrill went through him as his lips stretched up into a huge smile. He had a _boyfriend_ now, one that actually cared about him and truly went out of his way just to make Castiel smile. Before Dean could catch him staring, he quickly spun on his heel and started going through the movie cabinet. Usually, he’d pick one out he’d never seen but again...ulterior motives. He found one that he liked and knew Dean had seen probably a million times. 

He peeked into the kitchen to see Dean still busying himself with the snacks so Castiel took the moment to grab at his phone.

_Message to Amara:_ So I finally had the guts to ask him.   
_Message To Amara:_ We’re officially in a relationship! 

_Message to Bug:_ Of course you are, Dean is so far gone on you Castiel, it’s ridiculous.

 _Message to Bug:_ The only one who was questioning that lil brother was you. Lmao <3 you, you giant dork.

_Message to Amara:_ You know how hard it is for me to trust something that isn’t explicitly said!

 _Message to Amara:_ I love you too. Now I’m going to go enjoy the delicious peanut butter cookies my BOYFRIEND made me. BE JEALOUS.

_Message to Bug:_ Don’t forget, I have my own Winchester brother <3 

Castiel smiled so big, his cheeks were beginning to hurt.

_Message to Amara:_ Touche! I’m just happy for the both of us. Have fun, love you!

_Message to Bug:_ Enjoy yourself, be safe and tell him if he hurts you I’ll have his nuts in a vice grip before you can say ouch.

 _Message to Bug:_ Love you most. 

* * *

  
  


Castiel licked the chocolate and peanut butter off his fingers and groaned, “I’m going to make myself sick,” he laughed, pouting as he pushed the plate away from himself to keep from eating his sixth cookie.

Dean chuckled, “Don’t worry, I’ll pack em up and send some home with you so you’ll have them later.” 

“Mm, thank you,” Castiel said, leaning back against the couch. Dean finished off the current one he was munching on and leaned back as well. There was only so much patience Castiel had and he was eager to kiss his boyfriend again.

“Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you invested in the movie at all?” he asked.

Dean turned to him then, there was something...hesitant about the way he was talking. He knew he should definitely pay attention. “I mean I like it, but I’ve seen it before, why? You wanna switch it out or somethin?”

“Or something,” Castiel said, his cheeks heating up when Dean’s eyes went a bit wider. How this man had so much patience with him, he’d never know. Especially now with how slow he was moving to get closer until their foreheads were touching and Castiel took in a deep breath.

“What is it, sweetheart?” Dean asked, not quite sure why Cas was suddenly so nervous. 

“I want to kiss you again,” he said softly.

“Well there’s nothin’ stoppin’ you, Cas…You can kiss me whenever however you want,” Dean grinned, their lips barely a breath apart as he felt Cas’ smile press ever so slightly closer. “One of the boyfriend perks.”

Castiel laughed softly and finally closed the small distance of space and pressed their lips together. In all reality it was a barely there touch but to Castiel, it sent sparks down his limbs and made him want to crawl in closer. He wasn't aware that he was moving into Dean’s lap or that his arms were wrapping around the man’s neck. All he could focus on was the warm, soft press of Dean’s lips against his.

Dean pulled back a little, just to take a breath and make sure Cas was okay. “Hey you good? We can take a break or something if you want,” he offered, not wanting to completely kill the mood but the last thing he wanted to do was push Cas out of his comfort zone.

“I’m good and no, I don’t want to take a break,” Castiel said, leaning in once again. This time, there was a little more charge to their kiss. Dean’s arms hugged around him tightly and Castiel couldn’t help it, he moaned softly, his lips parting in an invitation for Dean to take it a step further.

They continued to kiss until Dean started to feel Cas squirm in his lap which did nothing to stave off the blood flow to his dick, which was already half hard. He pulled back again this time, feeling like he was the one who needed a break. “Hey, I uh I’m not complaining here but if you wanna stay like this for much longer we’re either going to have to have a talk or I’m gonna need to go for a little walk,” he said softly, kissing gently at Cas’ nose.

“Wh-oh!” Castiel gasped and blushed crimson, “Wait, is that because of...me?” he asked, hating how timid he sounded but he couldn’t help it. A man like Dean being turned on because of him was a little out of his reach of reality.

“Of course, sweetheart. It’s not like I’m thinkin’ about anyone else right now and believe it or not, you feel really, really good right here,” Dean said, more than a little confused how Cas could be so surprised by the desire and raw want he brought out but he knew there were some major insecurities at play, so he left it alone. 

“I’ve never done anything more than make out with someone...it’s one of the reasons why my last boyfriend broke up with me,” he said biting his lip, “I just never...wanted to. Not with him at least,” Castiel tilted his head a bit and smiled up into Dean’s curious gaze, “It’s different with you.”

“Well if you can talk to me, walk me through exactly what it is you wanna do, we can work up to that but I need you to be sure this is what you want, because I’m really okay waiting however long you need,” Dean promised, “If you don’t know that I’m here for more than what’s in your pants. I’d rather wait.”

Castiel laughed softly, “Of course I know that silly,” he said and pecked at Dean’s lips, “I think for right now, this is good but for future knowledge, I do want to go further. I want to learn everything and I want you to teach me,” he said.

“Alright then,” Dean grinned… "but I’m gonna need to take a break or go for a walk, sweetheart...wanna come with me?”

Castiel nodded, “Of course,” he said and slowly got up, then took Dean’s hand to lead him towards the door.

* * *

  
  


Amara loved her little brother more than anyone or anything but she wondered sometimes if something didn’t get a little lost in translation between the two of them. It seemed as though she was destined to have very little insecurities and he had more than enough for the both of them. 

“I wish you’d just tell me what happened, Castiel. We both know you’ll feel better after talking it out,” she said, taking a sip of her coffee.

Castiel shook his head, his eyes trained down at his mug. His relationship with Dean had been wonderful and exciting….and now it wasn’t. There wasn’t much to talk about, he just needed to keep his distance from the older man and things would go back to normal....right?

“Nothing happened,” he muttered, bringing the mug of hot chocolate up to keep himself from talking more.

Amara frowned down at her cup and let out a sigh. “You do realize that with our boyfriends being _brothers_ they talk...right? And while I’m not usually one for gossip; I know you’re not the only one who’s involved here,” she said, shaking her head at him. “You might not see it, Dean-I get the feeling he’s not very forthcoming with his emotions, so he isn’t going to speak up because you’re hurting his feelings. Are you really okay with that?”

Castiel swallowed hard, his teeth sinking into the side of his cheek until he could taste blood, “H-He’ll get over it. I’m just a kid...he’ll forget about me,” he said, slamming his mug down on the table and made an attempt to storm off towards the door.

“Oh no you don’t,” Amara muttered, standing up to follow after him. He was fast, but she knew him better than he knew himself and it made it easy to track him down. Although it was much less comfortable outside, apparently Castiel wanted to be dramatic so she would indulge him. It didn’t happen often.

“Castiel James Novak!” she hissed.

“What? I have a final to study for,” Castiel said, crossing his arms over his chest. There were people looking at them now, the whispered insults he’d heard over and over again the week before replaying in his head, “I need to go Amara.”

“Not until I’ve said what you obviously need to hear,” she said, tugging his sleeve until he followed. As she pulled him across a grassy area, Amara kept her calm as much as possible. She didn’t want to draw even more attention to them. “I don’t know what happened to you Castiel, because you won’t talk to Dean, you won’t even talk to me but I know _that man_ , is in pain. He cares about you, he’s not just going to move on to a newer, younger model. Take it from someone who knows you, little brother. There is _no one_ who could ever replace you, not for me, and not for Dean either.” 

She didn’t let him talk, only put a finger to his lips to keep him quiet a little longer. “Did you know that he asked me for help, he begged me to give him ideas on dates you’d like, your favorite foods, music, any clue. He damn near offered up everything he has on a silver platter if I’d just give him something, anything to use to connect with you and do you know what I told him?”

Castiel hugged around himself a little tighter, not wanting to hear her answer. He was fooling himself that he’d get over the pain of pulling away from Dean and this was only digging the knife in deeper.

“What?” he gritted out.

“I told him to talk to you, to listen and learn from you,” Amara answered softly. “I told him there wasn’t an easy route to your heart and he damned well needed to be ready to work for it,” she added, feeling her own emotions rise to the surface. “About a month later he asked me to meet him for coffee and do you know what he did, Castiel? He thanked me, he actually _thanked_ me.” 

Amara pulled him in against her chest, hugging around him tightly in the short bit of silence before she continued. “Dean said you were worth it, and he’s right.” 

Castiel felt a tear leak down his cheek and he jerked back from Amara’s hold to wipe at it furiously, “They called me pathetic Mari,” Castiel whispered, keeping his face down as his hands clenched into fists, “The Winchester brother’s _kept boy_ ,” he seethed.

Amara saw red and wanted to reign down punishment on anyone who dared to speak to him or about him that way, but it would have to wait. For now, Castiel was her priority. “So you pushed Dean away...to what? Prove them right? Because the only pathetic thing I can see here is that you’re letting them drive you away from the one you care about, Bug.” 

Castiel didn’t lift his head, shame, regret, and guilt slammed into him, making him stagger, “They didn’t just say it once….I-I started to believe it. I mean...why else would a man like him be even remotely interested in... _me?”_

Amara sighed, of course, they didn’t. People like that never seemed to be able to leave others alone. “I’m not the one you need to be asking.” 

“His answers don’t make sense to me Amara,” Castiel huffed, finally looking up at her only to flinch at the fierceness in her eyes, “I’ve asked him before,” he said and then shook his head, “I don’t want to talk about this anymore, I have to go.” Castiel didn’t give her a chance to respond. She called out after him a few times but he ignored it, just as he ignored the tears streaming down his cheeks now. 

He didn’t want to admit how much he missed Dean or that he’d give anything to take it all back but it was done. Everyone just had to accept that now.

_Message to Bug:_ You can run from me but if you’re really going to do this, you need to do it right. 

_Message to Bug:_ Talk to him, either fix it or break up with him, whatever you want I’ll support you but it’s not fair to him to drag him along like this. 

_Message to Bug:_ You both deserve better than that. 

Castiel waited until he was just outside his dorm to pull his phone out. He read over his sister’s messages several times before sighing heavily. She was right but he was a coward. 

The little whispers followed him up all the way to his dorm room.

_Wonder where the little boy toy’s keeper is!_

Castiel slammed his door shut and sank down to the floor. He’d blocked Dean’s number and now he had to face the mass amount of messages his poor boy... _ex-boyfriend_ had sent him over the week.

_Message to Cas:_ Have you eaten yet?

 _Message to Cas:_ I can drop something off…

 _Message to Cas:_ I made some peanut butter cookies if you want some…

_Message to Cas:_ Are you okay?

_Message to Cas:_ Did I do something wrong?

_Message to Cas:_ I guess that’s a yes

_Message to Cas:_ Just...let me know you’re okay, I just need to know you’re okay and I’ll leave you alone. 

_Message to Cas:_ Dropped by campus this morning, saw you talking with a friend.

 _Message to Cas:_ Glad you’re ok

_Message to Cas:_ Sorry, I’ll leave you alone now. 

“Fuck,” Castiel sobbed, his phone dropping between his legs as he hugged his knees. 

_“Did you hear? That little twink actually thinks he’s dating one of the Winchesters!”_

_“I know right? Probably out of pity so Cain can date his older sister. Poor Dean though.”_

_“I mean, he did get a little kept boy out of the mix, can’t be all that bad.”_

_Castiel dug his palm into the stone wall behind him as he heard a few of his classmates' talk around the corner. He thought they were his friends. Swallowing down the rising bile he ran away from the building, nearly crashing into Dean when he whipped around the corner._

_“Dean...oh.”_

_“Hey, what’s going on? You okay, sweetheart?” Dean asked, not liking how frazzled and emotional Cas seemed._

_Castiel jerked back, “I-I’m fine,” he stammered, looking back over his shoulder to see a couple of others from another class looking at them with knowing smirks. Castiel cringed, “I have to go. S-sorry but I need to study,” he said, quickly stepping around Dean to get away from him._

Castiel sucked in a sharp breath. Were these jerks worth the relationship he’d been building with Dean? A man who looked out for him took care of him, paid close enough attention to create one of the best dates he’d ever been on. The answer was so easy but now...surely now it was too late. 

He grabbed up his phone, his fingers trembling as he tried to type something out.

_Message to Dean:_ I’m sorry.

No, no that wouldn’t work. He deleted it and started over again.

_Message to Dean:_

Castiel stared at the blank screen and nearly gave up again when a new voicemail message came through.

_“Hey, look I know...you’re probably not getting these anymore and I’m-well fuck I’m just a loser I guess but. But if you happen to listen to this, just know that I uh-I miss you Cas… I miss you a lot. That’s all.”_

Castiel started crying at just the sound of Dean’s voice. He replayed the message over and over again for several minutes. Maybe, maybe it wasn’t too late.

_Message to Dean:_ You’re not a loser.

 _Message to Dean:_ I miss you so much too.

 _Message to Dean:_ Please don’t leave me alone…

 _Message to Dean:_ I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Dean.

Dean sipped from a bottle of warm bourbon in his hand as he stared down at his hands. He stood up, the buzz of alcohol was present for him but he wasn’t drunk, not yet. He walked across the house and knocked on his brother’s door.

“Yeah?” 

Dean opened it, and immediately tossed his phone onto the bed. “Keep this...for a while. I-I don’t want it back tonight.”

Cain frowned and looked down at the phone, message alerts were coming in like crazy from Castiel, “Bro, you sure? You’ve been waiting for Cas to reach out and now he is,” he said.

At first, he thought Cain was messing with him but after a beat, he realized his brother wouldn’t do that. 

“Wait, you’re serious?” he said, snatching his phone back immediately 

As he read through them, he nearly dropped to his knees right there.

Instead, he rushed back out of the room and into his own space before quickly pushing the call button.

Castiel hesitated for a split second, only because he didn’t think Dean would call him so quickly.

“D-Dean?”

“Cas,” he said, like a blessing, like a prayer, like it was _everything_ because it felt like it was. 

“I’m so sorry Dean,” Castiel hiccuped through a sob, “I-I didn’t mean to hurt you-”

“Cas, whatever it is, we can work it out just...I can’t come to you… I’ve been drinking. Can you-can I call you a cab? Please?” Dean asked, an almost panicked worry in his chest. He didn’t want to think of Cas being in so much pain, especially when he couldn’t get to him.

Castiel nodded, completely forgetting Dean couldn't see him. It took Dean saying his name for him to remember, “Yes, I’ll be there as soon as possible,” he said getting up and grabbing up his school bag to throw some extra clothes into it.

“Okay, just-just hang on, I’ll see you soon, sweetheart and we can figure all this out,” he said, though mostly he was still clueless to what happened, why Cas suddenly pulled away from him but no matter what, Dean was prepared to work through it. 

* * *

Cain shook his head.

_Message to Mari:_ Our loveable idiots are finally hashing it out and Cas is on his way here.

_Message to Cain_ : Yeah, I figured it was coming, one way or another. 

_Message to Cain:_ Need somewhere to crash for the night?

Amara bit her lip, thinking about inviting him into her bed seemed like an excellent idea, but she strangely wondered if one of them would lose interest once the playful flirting became something else.

Cain smiled softly, his hands already reaching out for his duffel to fill up.

_Message to Mari:_ That would be awesome.

 _Message to Mari:_ Want me to pick up that black forest B&J’s ice cream on the way?

She smiled down at her phone.

_Message to Cain:_ I never say no to ice cream. 

Cain grinned even wider and started to head out, his entire body stilling when he nearly ran into Castiel at the door, “Oh, heya Cas,” he said.

“Hello Cain...is um...I-”

“He’s in his room Cas-” Cain snorted as he practically pushed to the side. He could understand, he had his own to rush to.

Castiel would apologize to Cain later for being so rude. For now, his entire focus was getting to Dean’s room. When he got there though, his hand lifted but stopped just shy of hitting the door.

  
  


“No- no, stupid stupid!” Dean cursed, burying his face in his hands, before scrubbing them over his face. “Real fuckin’ cool, Winchester. Might as well just pack his bags for him,” he grunted.

Castiel frowned, “Dean?” he called out, his hand going to the doorknob only to have it pulled out of his hand. The alcohol was strong but he didn’t care, Dean was standing in front of him and for whatever wonderful reason, it didn’t look like Dean hated him.

Dean moved forward, even though he knew better, knew he shouldn’t-not without permission, he just- _fuck_ he couldn’t stop himself. He pulled Cas in tightly against his chest and hugged him with an almost brutal grip.

_“Cas.”_

Castiel couldn’t help but keen under his breath as Dean held him so tightly. Immediately his arms wrapped around Dean, hugging him just as fiercely, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he kept repeating against Dean’s chest.

“Shhh, shh it’s okay, whatever it is, it’s okay,” Dean promised, telling himself it was probably wrong, how much he just never wanted to let Cas out of his sight again. Granted, he’d never actually hold him prisoner but the urge to never let go was growing more desperate each passing moment.

“No, no Dean, it’s not okay,” Castiel said, gently pushing Dean away. There was another keening noise but this time, it came from Dean. Castiel guided him towards the bed and made him sit down, “I was unfair and treated you horribly when all you’ve ever done was take care of me,” he said, kneeling down on the floor at Dean’s feet, “My insecurities and the voices of my classmates became too much and I-I thought the best thing was to push you away,” he said, swallowing around the knot in his throat as he gripped at Dean’s fingers.

“Will you forgive me?”

“Are you planning on leaving me again?” Dean asked, even though it was painful to get the words out, even though he knew, deep inside himself somewhere that Cas wouldn’t have come back to him if he wasn’t ready to be there.

Castiel shook his head as he turned Dean’s hands to kiss each of his palms then his wrists, “No, never again. I don’t care what they say anymore, you’re more important to me than their whispered... _bullshit_.” 

“Then there’s nothing to forgive,” Dean promised, tugging gently at Cas’ hands until he stood back up. Cas was still looking down though, and Dean couldn’t have that. “Don’t hide from me, sweetheart. I’m here and I’m yours for as long as you want me.” 

Castiel nodded and crawled into Dean’s lap, his arms and legs wrapping tightly around his boyfriend. He got out one more _I’m sorry_ and then promised to stop apologizing. They sat there like that, with Castiel clinging to Dean on his lap for a long time. Long enough that Dean’s legs must be either cramping or falling asleep. 

“I know it’s still early but I’m tired, if you want to stay up I won’t mind.”

“Not a chance,” Dean said, shaking his head. “You go get changed for bed.” 

He waited until Cas moved into the bathroom before he went to the kitchen to throw together a small snack and some chamomile tea for Cas, just in case he wanted something. Once he had it ready he made his way back to the bedroom so he could change out of his work clothes, himself. 

Castiel sighed softly, the stress had loosened greatly though there was still some residual tension in his shoulders. Most of it was centered on his schoolwork but that was a worry he could hyper fixate on in the morning.

“Dean, do you ha-oh...wow,” Castiel gasped. Dean was in the middle of changing, his bareback visible to him. The next breath came out more as a grunt than anything else.

He finished tugging his shirt over his head before he turned around, “Have what?” 

“No, no, no, that won’t do. Take that off,” Castiel groaned, stepping forward to start yanking off Dean’s shirt. 

Dean chuckled, “What’s gotten into you?” 

“You look better without your shirt on,” Castiel huffed, throwing the offending cotton away, “And...I almost lost the chance to see this so I’m taking advantage,” he said with a nod more to himself than Dean. He looked up and blushed at the smirk on his boyfriend’s face, “Should I take mine off as well?”

“Not tonight, Cas…” Dean said softly, not wanting him to feel any kind of rejection. “Let’s get some sleep. There’s tea and a snack on the nightstand if you want it.” 

Castiel nodded, a little relieved at Dean’s choice. The tea smelled perfect and he took a few sips, the chamomile working immediately to drain the rest of his stress, “You’re too good to me Dean Winchester,” he sighed happily as he took a few more sips.

“No such thing,” he answered, “You have no idea just how unbalanced the scales are with us, do you?” He felt Castiel still and Dean just held him tighter. “I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you, Cas….I’m- I’m just a dumb mechanic who took over his rich daddy’s shop. You-you’re smart and so fucking sweet, and you care about people. Fuck, you want to change the world, not just be part of it… I could work my ass off the rest of my life and I would still never compare to you.” 

Castiel spun in Dean’s arms and flicked him on the nose, “Stop that. You are not just a dumb mechanic Dean Winchester, believe me, you’re the only one who views that about yourself. Everyone on campus is convinced that you’re too good for me, Shush, I’m not finished,” Castiel scolded when Dean opened his mouth to retort no doubt.

“You are brilliant, maybe not in a bookish way like you say I am but you are so incredibly smart that your wit stuns me on a daily basis. Intelligence isn’t only based on the merits of education. You can fix some of the most complicated things with your hands without even breaking a sweat. You’re strong, brave and know how to be gentle with someone like me. You’re an amazing man Dean Winchester and I won’t hear anything otherwise so stop comparing,” he said with a lifted brow.

“Not gonna argue with you tonight, Sweetheart. Just get some sleep.” 

“Good,” Castiel said, waiting for Dean to lay down before crawling in after him. He maneuvered into his favorite spot that was now magnified tenfold due to Dean being shirtless, “Sweet dreams Dean.”

“Sweet dreams, Cas.”

* * *

  
  
  


Dean woke up feeling fuzzy and warm, he had been so cold the last week it was a stark difference; especially the weight against his chest, the obvious telltale sign that things were right in the world again.

He kissed gently at Cas’ neck, trying to draw him out of his sleep slowly. Dean had sorely missed the taste of sunshine and salt on his skin along with that cocoa butter scented lotion Cas wore. 

He felt Cas move against him and smiled into his skin. “You awake love?”

“Mmm,” Castiel groaned, blindly reaching for Dean’s arm to pull him in tighter against his back. His boyfriend warmed him up better than any blanket could and he was absolutely starved for that warmth and touch.

“You gotta wake up cause there’s something I wanna say,” Dean said softly, pressing gentle kisses where he could reach. It had been easier than he could have imagined to drift off to sleep when Cas was finally back where he belonged, given he’d slept in the day before. “C’mon, love...show me those big blue eyes.”

Castiel sighed and rolled over, pressing his face against Dean’s chest. His skin was soft and he couldn’t help nuzzling against it before pulling away to blink tiredly up at Dean, “Morning,” he said.

“I need you to hear something...those kids at your school,” he started, watching as Cas visibly flinched. “They don’t know me. They think they do; because my dad’s a big wig around town. They think they know us, all of us, but they don’t. It’s fucking disgusting how they act over us sometimes and I’m sorry that it meant you got a bunch of stupid shit said to you.”

Castiel blinked a few more times and finally just rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, “It’s not your fault Dean. And they shouldn’t presume to know you or your brothers,” Castiel said, moving a bit so he could rest his head on Dean’s shoulder.

“I didn’t say it was my fault but, being with me...it might mean more of that and I want you to know that I’ll do whatever I need to do, to protect you...you good with that?” he asked, pulling his head back enough to get a better view of Cas’ face. 

Castiel nodded, “Mmhmm.”

“Okay then…” he grinned, easing his fingers under the hem of Cas’ shirt. “Well if you’re still interested, now might be a good time to take this off…”

Castiel was wide awake now. He blinked at Dean a few times before sitting up slowly and lifting his arms up above his head. He was nervous and probably resembled a tomato but he wanted this. The shirt was tossed away from them like he had done with Dean’s the night before. Castiel fought the urge to cover up, his body looked nothing like Dean’s, they were polar opposites of each other. Though there must have been something appealing with the way Dean was staring at him almost hungrily.

“You are gorgeous, I know you don’t see it but Cas... you-“ he paused, making sure to look up and catch Castiel’s gaze. “You are so beautiful, I-when Amara sent me that picture of you I could barely breathe, and when I actually saw you for the first time...I just wanted to make you mine right then and there.”

“To be fair, my senior pictures turned out really good,” Castiel teased, an embarrassing squeak being forced out of his mouth when Dean pinched his side, “I’m kidding! As long as you like what you see, that’s all that matters,” he said running his hands up Dean’s chest, savoring the feeling of all that hard muscle under his palms.

“It’s not all that matters, Cas…” Dean said, shaking his head. “Yes, you’re beautiful and I’m not gonna lie, maybe without that I might not have gotten the chance to know you,” he started, pausing to kiss at the soft skin of Castiel’s shoulder, “but you are so much more than just this. The best parts of you have nothing to do with how gorgeous you are.”

Castiel blushed, “Thank you,” he said, lifting up his head to peck at Dean’s lips. He wiggled around a bit and sighed softly, smiling at Dean’s curious look, “I like this...waking up with you...all the snuggling, it feels amazing.”

“Me too,” Dean said, grinning into Cas’ skin. He knew it was quick, even for him it felt fast and he wasn’t usually one to deprive himself for long, even still… “Why don’t you stay?” 

“I can stay, but I will have to go back to my dorm to study later though,” Castiel sighed.

Dean chuckled, he could let it go, let Cas amble back to his dorm, wait a few months, or years, and try again but he didn’t want to do that. “Cas...no, I’m-I want you to stay, like stay here, with me… I’m asking you if you want, to live here...with me.”

Castiel blinked a few times before his eyes widened and his mouth dropped open almost dramatically, “Oh! Wait...really?” he asked, biting down on his lip to keep from smiling like a complete lunatic.

“Really,” Dean answered, shaking his head a little as he pushed another kiss against the closest skin he could reach. “I know it’s fast but I feel like I’ve spent years, all my life really...waiting for you and then I almost lost that-I just, I’m just saying I don’t want to hold back anymore. So whenever you’re ready, whatever you want Cas...I want to give it to you.”

Castiel couldn't help the giggle that exploded from him as he yanked Dean down into a deep, almost too wet kiss. He loved the feeling of Dean’s tongue along his but that was completely obliterated when Dean’s hips moved, however unintentional it was, Castiel let out a gasp. His boyfriend tried to pull away but Castiel wouldn’t let him, he needed those lips on his. Somehow he managed to get his legs untrapped from the weight of Dean’s body and suddenly they were pressed even closer together, “Nnn, Dean,” he gasped again, a little sharper this time.

“Tell me you want this, Cas...just say it and I’ll make you feel so good, I promise, sweetheart,” Dean said, nearly growling out the end when Castiel’s hips moved against him with enough pressure to merely tease his cock.

Castiel nodded frantically, his next breath coming out as a groan in frustration when Dean didn’t continue, “Yes, please Dean,” he said and whimpered as Dean’s hips slowly rolled against him, “Oh, oh wow...t-touch me...please Dean?” 

Dean dug his hand beneath the fabric of Cas’ pajamas and quickly, frantically stroked him off. It wasn’t quite what he’d pictured for the first time they came together but he could tell Cas needed it and the rest, the rest could wait. “That’s it, sweetheart,” Dean said when Cas’ hips began to move along with him, chasing his climax. 

“Dean!” Castiel cried out, digging his fingers into Dean’s shoulders, “I ca-can’t…” his entire body was jerking towards Dean’s fist and he could do nothing but ride along the waves of pleasure coursing through him. He wanted to touch Dean too, to not be so selfish but the way Dean was touching him, he couldn't focus on anything else.

He helped Cas tremble and shake through the waves of orgasm, savoring every little twitch of pleasure that showed on his face. “So good for me, sweetheart. You were so good,” Dean said, kissing gently as Cas visibly started to come down from his orgasm high. 

“Oh...wow...mmm, okay,” Castiel swallowed hard, his body not wanting to stop twitching especially with Dean’s hands still touching him, “That was amazing,” he hummed, licking over his bottom lip. He battled back the nerves and slowly pushed his own hand down into the front of Dean’s pajamas. 

“Hey I-ahhh, I’m not saying no here Cas,” Dean said, reaching down to gently stop him. “But I need you to know this isn’t...you don’t owe me anything, you don’t need to repay any debt, you know that right?” he asked, not being able to stand the idea that Cas might feel some sort of obligation toward him. 

“You think I don’t _want_ to touch you?” Castiel asked, wriggling his hand free of Dean’s loose grasp, “I know there’s no debt to repay when it comes to this. You’ve been so incredibly patient with me and yes, I know that you’d continue to wait and be even more patient but I _want_ this Dean,” he said, getting his hand back where it had been traveling before. Before Dean could utter another sound, Castiel gripped the base of his cock and both of them moaned, “You...you are much bigger than I thought,” he said.

“UNfgh-” Dean grunted as Cas squeezed a hand around him. He let out another grunt and a short hiss of breath before he could continue, “I don’t know if that’s an insult or a compliment,” he said, then let his head fall back against the bed as they rolled over to change position.

Castiel bit his lip, heat crawling up his neck at their new position. He was straddling Dean’s legs with a hand down his pants. A deep-seeded want curled in his lower belly and with his free hand, he yanked at Dean’s pants until they were low enough for Castiel to get an eye full.

“Oh...definitely a compliment,” Castiel gasped. His hand looked tiny wrapped around Dean’s cock. He didn’t have much to compare it too but to him, it was absolutely perfect, “I imagined you to be well endowed but this…” he said, squeezing around the base again before stroking up his shaft.

Dean’s breath hitched in his throat when his eyes blinked open long enough to watch Cas’ tongue peek out to swipe across his bottom lip. “Fuuuck, that-that feels amazing, sweetheart.” 

Dean’s words filled him almost better than his earlier orgasm had. Every noise, every hitch of Dean’s hips, sated that deep need Castiel was feeling in his gut. It was almost as if his body and mind craved for Dean’s pleasure, and maybe that was exactly it. He bit down on his lip and gave Dean a shy smile. The resulting moan had Castiel shuddering a bit. 

“Oh god, not gonna last too long here, Cas…” Dean said, his whole body wound tight. He was pretty damn familiar with the experience of getting himself off while thinking about Cas, had done a lot of that since he’d met the guy but he hadn’t really felt in the mood while Cas was pulling away from him, so it had been more than a few days and he felt as if he was on a hair-trigger. 

“I don’t want you to,” Castiel hummed. He kept his eyes glued to Dean’s face as he dragged the pad of his thumb over the tip of Dean’s cock. The absolute filthy moan that flew past Dean’s lips had Castiel hungry for even more. He kept it up; alternating between stroking the pulsing shaft and thumbing at the wet tip. It was incredibly fascinating and he was about to say so when Dean’s entire body seized.

“Fuck-Cas-Fuck,” Dean called out, his orgasm rushing through him in hot waves of pleasure. He could barely keep his eyes open but the draw of Cas’ quick surprise and then awe kept him focused. “Shit shit shit-ungh.” 

Castiel moaned softly as Dean’s hips twitched, his stomach clenching as his orgasm rode through him. His hand was absolutely covered in Dean’s spend and he had an abrupt desire to taste it, to taste _Dean_. Before he could rethink it, he brought his hand up to his mouth and flicked his tongue out over one of his fingers. It wasn’t the most pleasant taste but it wasn’t as awful as he had heard from others. The more he cleaned his hand, the more he truly began to like it.

“Jesus, Cas…” Dean grunted, feeling as if he could spill all over again. Instead, he groaned and pulled his lover up to him, to eagerly taste what remained of himself on Castiel’s tongue. When he finally pulled away, panting breathlessly, he said, “You-you’re gonna be the death of me, Sweetheart.” 

“Mmm, not yet, we’ve only just started,” Castiel teased, pulling Dean in again as they got tangled up in the sheets.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> sorry for any errors, those are all of ours, especially mine (destielhardcorelove). I hate editing lol.


End file.
